Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Oops, Life Just Kicked Me in the Butt

Hi all,

I haven't posted in a long time.  I know why too.  I'm just too tired to think too much.  I am not sure why I'm posting now other than to say "I'm still alive".  

My Mom's Alzheimer's is getting much worse and fast.  I wish I could get a few encouraging words.  

I feel so inadequate sometimes.

Scott

3 comments:

Sylvia Baber said...

It really surprises me that you feel like you're not good enough (for what?) because you're so smart, hilariously funny, capable, and so very helpful to so many people. You have been a life-saver to me on more than one occasion.

You're doing the best that you can, and that should be good enough.

You're trying to get your bundle of twigs in order, but there are still a couple that are not lying straight with the rest of them. The source of internal struggle is usually a rebellion against some truth we find unacceptable. But once the truth is acknowledged, however nasty it is, we don't struggle anymore, and we can begin using our time in the most productive way possible, instead of wasting it. Perhaps the metaphor I want is an airplane: pain comes from not being aerodynamic. If something's not in place, your mileage and performance are going to suffer because something is keeping you from slicing cleanly through the air.

I really liked your post title. Life kicked me in the butt a couple of times in January, but thanks to the skills that you've taught me over the years, I was able to get through those experiences in very positive and healthy ways. You need a big thank you for that. Thanks. You're a great stepdad.

Levi said...

And you feel inadequate because maybe you have to just watch instead of finding a solution?

It's not supposed to be fixed really. It's just supposed to be. You get to witness.

I watched a death from cancer. Held my husband's hands and told him to reach for someone on "the other side." (hospice told me to do that). It was awful but it was great later when I thought about it.

I don't know if these words are encouraging but if you are there, you're doing a wonderful job. A lot of folks might not have that much courage.

Your stepdaughter's note was really great. She encouraged me!

Levi said...

Hey SD...thank you for your kind words the other day. I got a lot of *virtual* nurturance and that was nice.
The knee issue is a pain in the knee but I'll figure out how to cope. Trying to figure out pain issues can be a pisser.
Thanks again for your compassion.
Also, give us an update when you have time. Blah-blog is beginning to be too true.